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If You Died Today Would You Be Happy?

How do you feel about your life right now?

And the life you’ve lived up to this point?

Would you be happy if you died today?

ASKING THESE QUESTIONS

I started asking myself these questions back in 2017.

And when I was hiking with a friend in Northern Spain I turned to him and asked…

‘If you died today would you be happy?’

His answer was, ‘Yes’.

But when he turned the question back on me the feeling wasn’t mutual. And it wasn’t because I was only 34 at the time, but because I would have died with a feeling of regret.

A NICE LIFE

I’d had a nice life up until this point. In fact a really nice life.

No complaints at all.

I had an interesting job and got paid well enough that I could go on holidays, eat out and put some money in the bank.

Nothing extravagant, but a good quality lifestyle.

I had all the basics covered with a few bonuses.

I had great relationships.

I lived in a beautiful location.

But as nice as my life was at the time I wouldn’t have died happy because I hadn’t been living a life true to myself.

FIGURING THINGS OUT

But at this stage in my life I was still in the process of unraveling my conditioning.

Still working through my insecurity, self-doubt and fear.

Still figuring myself out.

I’d been wanting to leave the rat race years – in fact I’d never wanted to be a part of it to begin with – but I never had the courage to do so. To do life my way.

THE DISCONTENT

And I feel this sense of discontent was two-fold.

On the one hand it was because I wasn’t living a life true to who I am, but instead a life based on who I should be and what I should do.

A life based on expectations and the fact it’s ‘what everyone else does’.

That this is the way life is.

I’d think about making changes. Talk about wanting things to be different, but I never took any action.

Because I didn’t have the confidence to do what I really wanted to do, to be me. So instead I played it safe.

And the second was because I never felt the work I was doing felt meaningful to me.

Making TV shows was a fucking awesome job. I got to do and see some amazing things.

It was fun. It entertained people and occasionally educated them.

But it never felt quite right. I never felt connected to it.

My heart wanted something that felt more meaningful to me.

And I knew if I spent the next 30 years doing it, I would look back on my life with regret.

So that’s why I answered no to my friend back in 2017.

Not because I hadn’t achieved my goals or my ambitions.

Made loads of money or travelled the world.

But because I would have died not having lived life my way.

MAKING CHANGES

So fast-forward three years.

And now, after making some big changes and some sacrifices.

I decided to ask myself the same question.

‘If I died today would I be happy?’

And my answer is YES, because I decided to stop living a life I didn’t want to live and started living life my way, with my rules.

Because now I’m being true to who I am and I’ve started creating a life that feels meaningful to me.

REFLECT AND CONTEMPLATE

So when it feels appropriate to you.

I invite you to take a moment to reflect and contemplate these questions:

How do you feel about your life right now?

And the life you’ve lived up to this point?

Would you be happy if you died today?

Because reflecting and contemplating them might be as transformative for you as they were for me.