Life is short.
Yet so many people reach the end of it realising they lived according to others’ expectations, not their own desires.
Why?
Because they never pause to reflect.
They get stuck in the busyness of life, ignoring the nagging voice inside of them that says, “is this it?”
Without clarity or intentionality, they default to living THE PRESCRIBED LIFE.
That’s why the top regret of the dying is:
“I wish I’d had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.”
The Top Regret of the Dying
Bronnie Ware was a palliative care nurse, who spent years by the bedsides of people in their final days and documented their most common regrets in her book: The Top 5 Regrets of the Dying.
Since reading this book nearly a decade ago, my wife Cathy and I have been on a mission to figure out what living life true to ourselves actually means — and taking action to make it our reality.
For us, living our BIG LIFE looks like this:
— Running purpose-driven businesses that feel meaningful and fulfilling
— Working online so we have time and location freedom
— Prioritising personal growth through consistent learning & upskilling
— Embracing more adventures and seeking joy in our everyday lives
— Building a life centred around our core values: growth, adventure, connection, freedom, and health
This ^^ didn’t happen overnight.
It’s been a journey of self-discovery, trial and error, and intentional decision-making.
But it started with one thing:
Awareness.
3 Questions to Gain Clarity
If you’re looking to avoid that top regret, the first step is to pause and ask yourself some honest questions.
Here are 3 key questions to journal on this week:
1. What’s most important to me?
This might include your values, relationships, passions, or experiences you want to prioritise. For example, if you value freedom, but spend most of your days in restrictive routines, there’s a disconnect to explore.
2. What would I regret NOT doing in my life?
Think long-term here. What dreams, goals, or experiences would leave you with a sense of ‘what if’, if they went unfulfilled? Have you always wanted to start a business, speak on stage or travel solo round the world?
3. If I had a totally free day with no responsibilities, how would I spend it?
This question uncovers what truly brings you joy and fulfillment, free from obligation or societal pressure. Your answers might reveal hobbies, creative outlets, or activities you’ve pushed aside in the rush of daily life.
Take your time answering these. Write freely, without judgment.
These are your answers, and there’s no right or wrong.
From Awareness to Action
Awareness is a powerful first step, but it’s only the beginning.
Once you’ve reflected on these questions, compare your answers to how you’re currently spending your time.
Ask yourself:
— Are your daily actions aligned with what’s most important to you?
— Are you working toward the things you’d regret not doing?
— How often are you experiencing the activities or moments that light you up?
If there’s a gap between your answers and your reality, that’s where opportunity lies.
Taking action can feel overwhelming, especially when old habits and expectations pull you back.
Start small—change one thing, experiment, and build momentum.
Here’s how:
Align with what’s most important to you:
— If relationships matter most, prioritise quality time with loved ones
— If personal growth is key, carve out time for learning or self-reflection
Take the first step toward that thing you’d regret not doing:
— Always wanted to write a book? Start with one paragraph today
— Dreaming of traveling the world? Research one destination this week
Infuse more joy into your daily life:
— Look for ways to incorporate the activities from your “free day” into your real life
— Even 10–15 minutes a day doing something you love can make a difference
The Journey to Your Big Life
Living a life true to yourself is both simple and challenging.
It requires courage, introspection, and a willingness to take small steps in the direction of your dreams.
The good news?
You don’t have to do it all at once.
Start with these 3 questions.
Reflect on your answers.
Then, take one step today, no matter how small, towards the life you truly want.